Loving Him Again
by Anne's Tantrums
Summary: They met at the park, like the cliche stories. They saw each other every week. Lucy couldn't tell him the truth, especially when he was proposing to another woman. But on the 104th week, she got answers. Answers that completed her.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Loving Him Again

 **Genre:** Romance, Tragedy, Angst

 **Pairing:** GraLu

 **Summary:** They met at the park, like the cliche stories. They saw each other every week. Lucy couldn't tell him the truth, especially when he was proposing to another woman. But on the 104th week, she got answers. Answers that completed her.

 **Note:** This is a **TRUE story** (with a few changes) and I hope none of you will judge this story too much :) Please enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** My name's not Hiro Mashima :)

* * *

My friends used to say that I was numb. All my twenty-two years living in Earth, I haven't felt any attraction to a single guy. Anyone who tried to court me was simply rejected. Although I feel sorry that I had to reject them, they just weren't my type. Or maybe what my friends told me was true. I was really numb when it came to romantic feelings. I was starting to believe them, but I immediately pushed away the thought on my twenty-third year.

Exactly on my birthday, I met him. And I admit, just one look at him, I knew I liked this guy that I didn't know.

I can still remember what had happened from that day two years ago, Yep. It's been two years. Yet, I can still replay every second from that day in my mind. And I kept that unrequited love myself. Never have I decided or thought about telling that guy.

Because he had a girlfriend.

 **-FLASHBACK-**

It was already eleven at night. No one was outside. Well, except me. Just one more hour to come, I'll be twenty-three years old. I only wanted to spend my first minutes as a twenty-three year old alone.

Then, I suddenly remembered what happened almost a year ago.

 _"The doctor said you have amnesia, dear. You got caught in an accident,"_ my mother told me... ten months ago.

No one had an idea how I felt back then. I felt so ruined. hat about the memories I formed with my friends and families? They were all precious to me. I had forgotten about those and they'd just tell me to move on? I told them I was devastated by the news. My mom told me she was sorry and that I'll remember them soon. But they just didn't know how ruined I was. They didn't know anything. I could remember some things after two months. They'd pop in my mind, and flashbacks of my life would appear.

Though I remember most of it, Levy-chan and Natsu, my best friends, and my parents kept on bugging me. They've been telling me nonstop that there's one person who I should remember. But no, I can't remember. Nothing comes up in my mind.

 _"I can't remember who I should remember and I'm sure I'll remember that person soon, so please, stop pressuring me,"_ was what I told them.

It worked, though. They stopped giving me pressure and let me remember things by my own. It's been ten months yet... I still can't remember anyone who's supposed to be special to me. All I know is that both my mom and dad, Levy-chan, and Natsu are all special to me. I don't know anyone else who could be precious than them.

I sat on a bench, looking at the dark sky above. I don't know what I should be looking up at since there were no stars and it was really dark. There were a few post lights around, the white and orange light mixing and illuminating around the whole park.

 _'Who am I really supposed to remember?'_ I asked myself.

Lately, I've been getting dreams like I'm with a guy, riding on a sand jeep at a beach together with no one else around. There was one when I was seeing myself laughing with a guy then I kissed him. I thought for sure, I was just dreaming. I couldn't even point out his face clearly. It was all a blur to me. I didn't understand anything. Were those dreams trying to convey something to me?

"Hey, what are you doing out here?"

I jumped a little in surprise as I heard someone talking to me. I turned to my left and saw him, this cool guy that appeared out of nowhere. I didn't know him but his looks were enough to make my heart flutter.

"Nothing," I mumbled. He sat next to me on the bench and I could feel his eyes on me. I sighed, whispering, "It's my birthday in an hour."

Honestly, I don't know why I'm telling him that.

"Really?" He asked me, a smile forming on his lips. He checked his watch on his left arm and then, he grinned at me. I swear his face lit up. "Then, happy birthday! It's already midnight."

I smiled. He was the first one to greet me. Knowing that fact made me happy. I looked at him and said, "Thank you."

We continued talking until it was three in the morning. I got to know him more and in exchange, he also got to know me more. We had a lot of similarities. He also told me that we were classmates during Junior High, Freshman Year. Huh, I don't remember him, though. I told him about my amnesia, and he understood why I don't remember him.

That's why I liked him more. He understood me.

Then, he told me about his girlfriend.

Like what happened ten months ago, no one understood what was I going through.

 _'But why am I going through this?'_

 **-END OF FLASHBACK-**

It's been two years since then. We meet up at the same park and at the same time, which is during midnight, and we just talk every night. We've been so close. We're close until now. I've never been happy like when I'm with him.

I laughed at myself as I stared at the ceiling of my room.

I saw his girlfriend two weeks ago. She was pretty. Her name was Juvia Lockser. The name itself screamed 'rich' but her outfit and looks were just outstanding. Don't get me wrong. My family is also rich, and I'm quite proud of myself and my assets but for sure, that woman would win over me. But, I have a feeling that I met her in the past... but it could be just my imagination.

That's why she and that guy are together now for two years, which hurt me as hell.

I sighed. "Should I just tell that cute dork?" _Cute dork._ I don't know how that guy thought of it, but he just called me that. In return, I also called him that and it seemed that he liked it.

When I told my parents about him, their faces lit up. And their only daughter doesn't have a single clue why. Even when I met Juvia. She was so nice to me and she kept giving the dork teasing looks. Surprisingly, she wasn't mad that her boyfriend of two years was meeting up with some girl at midnight _alone_. Why the hell am I not knowing what they know? Even Levy-chan and Natsu looked happy that I met him.

"I should just get going," I said to no one as I stood up since it was nearing midnight already. My parents know every Sunday night, I go out till midnight because I'm meeting with that guy. And they're perfectly fine with me going out with him.

Walking to the park was longer than the usual. Maybe it was because I was taking my time and I was taking small, slow steps. Maybe I was doing that because I was nervous, because I'm going to tell him now. I could give a damn about his girlfriend and our friendship, but I want him to know now. I've had enough in hiding it for too long.

When I reached the park, no one was there. He wasn't here yet. Huh, what happened to that dork? I sat at our _usual_ bench, thinking of how should I tell him.

"Boo."

"Kyaa!" I yelped in surprise. I jumped up and turned around, facing the very own Gray Fullbuster-slash-the-cute-dork. As I calmed my pounding heart, I started to chuckle. This guy... I swear, if I hadn't loved him that much, I would've already taken his head off. Then, he laughed with me. Yeah, we're laughing together.

My laughter died down then I narrowed my eyes at him. "Are you laughing with me or _at_ me?"

He laughed louder. "Both, Lucy."

"Dang it," I mumbled, annoyed.

He sat down with me, his laughter gone but his smile was still there. I stared at him. I swear, he was glowing. And it made me happy. Well, until he spoke up. "I'm proposing to her today at dinner."

 _And then, my heart..._

"Really?" I asked, lowering my head. Why are there tears in my eyes? The first time I fell in love and probably the last... also the first and last time I'll get a heartbreak like this.

"Yeah. I already have the ring and the flowers ready... now all I'm waiting for is when the sun comes up and her answer."

 _... My heart just got broken._

What kind of friend would I be if I wished for Juvia to say no? And I doubt that Juvia would say no. She wouldn't. When I saw them together, they were really happy and their gaze to each other was different. I could never compete to that. And I would never even think of competing with Juvia and taking her man away. I will never do that.

In that moment, my decision was changed. I won't tell him and I won't show up to him anymore after this.

"I really hope she'd say yes," he said. It was obvious he didn't know about my feelings and there was no way he would know anymore.

I faked a laugh, trying my best make it look like genuine to him. I mentally sighed. I already knew this day would come. After all, they'd been together for two years. So I just told him, "She'll say yes to you. When I saw you two together, you were really happy and I think she really loves you."

"Yeah. We really love each other."

 _Kill me now for wishing Juvia would say no._

"That's good," I replied. I didn't know what else to say to him. I thanked myself for not stuttering. But, my tears... they were still there. No matter what I do, they won't fall. We stayed quiet, with me looking at the ground while he was looking at the midnight sky.

 _I'm here too. Look at me._

Luckily, I received a call. I took my phone and looked at the called ID. It was mom. "Sorry, I gotta take this," I said as I bowed my head apologetically at Gray. But he just smiled at me. I stood up and walked away then I answered the call. Without hearing my mom's statement, I said, "All right, Mom, I'll be there in ten." I just hope mom won't get suspicious of that.

And I ended the call. I went back to Gray after wiping my eyes since tears were daring to fall. "Gray, sorry but I need to go. Mom says it's important," I said. Funny how I could lie to his face straight.

"Go on. See you next week."

 _There won't be a next time._

"Good luck with your proposal."

And I left him alone there.

* * *

As soon as I opened the door to our house, I sawmy mom was standing at the living room, looking at me sternly. She had her arms crossed and her left foot was tapping the floor repeatedly in an impatient manner. My dad was only sitting on the couch. I'm guessing it was about her call earlier and why I interrupted her with such nonsense. I closed the door quietly and slowly walked to her. The tears were coming back.

"Lucy, what was that about - Oh my, what happened?" She immediately asked when she saw my eyes.

"Mom!" I sobbed as I hugged her tightly. Mom immediately wrapped her arms around me, rubbing comforting circles on my back. "Mom, he's p-proposing to her..."

"Shh. It'll be okay." _No, it won't._ My mom's embrace tightened around me. Somehow, it was comforting. It helped me... a bit.

This time, I wasn't a coward enough to let out all my tears. And they fell endlessly.

I knew... I was safe in my mom's embrace.

* * *

 **Tantrum Zone:** Yep. This is really a **true story**. Not mine, my aunt's :) So I really hope that no one judges this story (also theirs) too harshly. But please, tell me in a review about what you think!

FOLLOW! Find out what will happen.

REVIEW! What do you think?

FAVE! You'll be surprised at the end!

\- Annie


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:** Barely edited. So, could you excuse the mistakes for a while? Thanks! Please enjoy!

 _"We think the wrong is right. Even if we do know it is wrong, we still do it... for the sake of our love."_

* * *

I sat at the corner of my bed, still crying my eyes out. My mom was sitting next to me, still rubbing my back in a comforting way. My father was quietly watching the two of us, sitting at my computer chair. No one spoke between the three of us but I was the only one sobbing and whimpering. All of a sudden, my mom hugged me and I tucked my head under her chin. I used to do that whenever I was a kid, when I was crying because of a really sad thing.

The last time I did this was when I lost myself and my soul when I had learned that I got in an accident and that I had amnesia.

 _Both of my mom and dad were here but..._

I let out another sob as I wiped my cheek in a futile attempt with an already wet tissue.

 _... But I felt so alone, so fragile, and so broken._

The worst feelings rushed to me in one moment. What did I do to get this? All I wanted was for Gray to be my friend. Today, I just wanted him to know about my feelings for him. Should I have told him? He'd surely reject me and that would hurt more than I was feeling right now.

I highly doubt I could take any more pain.

Because honestly, I think I had left my broken heart at the park and my shattered soul had begun to leave my body.

"Stop crying now, dear."

"But mom..." I whimpered weakly. I closed my eyes as I placed a hand over my chest. I whispered, "It hurts..."

"I know it does, sweetie. People in love will experience this, once or twice or several times. You are a delicate lady and this is the first time you fell for someone so it really will hurt."

"Mom, do you think moving on is the best thing?" I asked her, my hand falling back to my side. Slowly pulling away from our embrace, my eyes found hers staring at mine intensely.

"Oh, Lucy," she whispered as she shook her head in a sad manner. "Time will help you, and in the right time, you'll be able to forget those feelings." Time can _try_ to help but I don't think I can simply forget about my feelings for my first love. As if sensing what I was thinking about, she added as she patted my head once, "First love never goes away, true, but Lucy, remember this: if you keep trying to live your life while one-sidedly loving someone, you will do nothing but ruin yourself."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked louder than what I had planned to. I saw my parents' concerned looks. I looked away, biting my lower lip. "Am I just supposed to sit here and wait so I can forget about him? Should I live with anguish in my heart?"

No one really understands me.

"Mom, I can't do that."

"Lucy?" My mom asked. I could see the confusion in her eyes. Another tear fell from my eye as I lowered my head sadly.

"I can't just forget about my feelings and the two years we spent," I told her. My father sighed but my mother smiled. I didn't get it but I just didn't pay attention to it. Not minding it at the time would be the best. I smiled a little as I said, "I can't... I can't forget _him_."

"Lucy, you don't need to forget him. I know you won't be able to forget about Gray but you have to let go of your feelings at the right time," my dad finally spoke up, walking to us. He sat next to me and I leaned on his shoulders. The last time I did this was also ten months ago.

What right time? On my death bed?

"Sweetie," my mom whispered as she wiped my tears with a tissue. "You can let go of your feelings a decade later and it will only hurt you more if you force yourself to move on. But, Lucy, you _have to_ let go."

 _I already let go... through the most painful way._

Somehow, my tears stopped flowing. I was thankful that I wasn't crying anymore but if I can't cry any more, is my love for Gray that shallow? Was it just a crush? An infatuation? No. I'm sure what I'm feeling is true. I'm sure I love him. But he doesn't.

"Mom, Dad, can I - can I go to that place you were talking about?"

My parents looked at each other, sending each other a message through their eyes.

Ten months ago... my parents and my friends were saying that there was a place that I could go if I wanted to remember that special person. I never wanted to go to that place, but now I want to. I'll try to remember that person.

"All right, Lucy. After lunch, we'll go out, okay?" My dad asked. I only nodded.

"Can I... can I go back to the park? I want to be alone for the meantime," I told them as I took a tissue and wiped my eyes and my cheeks.

"Sure, dear, go ahead," my mom answered me with a smile. I don't know if Gray's still there or not, but I really wanted to go there *for the last time*. I stood up and looked at the mirror. My eyes were okay, my cheeks and nose were fine too. I turned and gave my parents a smile.

* * *

He was still here.

"Hey," I said in a low voice as I sat next to him. He turned to me, his eyes wide with surprise. I asked him, "What are you still doing here?"

"What about you? I thought you already went home," he answered me.

I shrugged, pretending as if I didn't cry earlier. But I was still emotional about the whole thing. It was a good thing my voice wasn't shaking and I wasn't wavering. _'This will be your last. Cherish it,'_ I thought to myself. As much as I didn't want to, I had to. Like what will happen to my feelings, Gray has to leave my life and I have to let go of him and eventually forget everything. I don't know if I can, but I believe my mom and dad. I hope that with time, I'll be able to forget these two years.

"Yeah, but it's okay now. It wasn't that important anyway," was my reply to him. I hope he doesn't thinks suspiciously of it. He faced me, looking at my eyes directly. With the serious and intense gaze he was giving me, I suddenly felt shy and insecure... deprived of my happiness.

During our two years, he held a piece of my heart and my happiness. Just tonight, he took that, more than I had willingly gave him.

I was devoted him to more than I thought I was.

"You sure it's not important?" He asked, leaning a bit closer to my face. I pulled my head back a little, maintaining a small distance between us. "Your eyes are red. I can tell you cried."

Dang it.

"I-I didn't cry," I _tried_ to defend myself. However, we both knew he was right and there was really no need to defend myself.

He suddenly sighed as he closed his eyes. Then he leaned closer. I wasn't able to move. He placed his forehead on top of mine then he opened his eyes, staring at mine.

"Wait, G-Gray, you have a g-girlfriend," I stuttered with uneasiness creeping in my stomach. I was extremely uncomfortable with our position. My conscience wouldn't be able to eat it if I were labeled as a cheating woman. And heck, he was proposing to his girlfriend already.

What would I do if Juvia happened to pass by today?

"I don't have one," he whispered. Darn it, this was making me crazy.

"Wh-What? Uhm...what about Juvia?"

"I broke up with her... seven years ago." He closed his eyes again. I wanted to pull back but I couldn't. This is crazy. He told me they've been together for two years and now he's saying the broke up seven years ago? Damn. I must be out of my mind .

He suddenly chuckled, his eyes still closed. "You don't remember me, do you?"

What was he saying? I wanted to ask him. Why would I forget him when I think to him every day? What was there for me to remember? I had questions in mind that really needed answers from him. But my throat felt dry and I couldn't move my lips or my tongue. What about my questions? Will they remain unanswered? As every second passed, the more I grew uncomfortable and tense.

Finally, he opened his eyes, staring at my own again.

Then, he dropped his forehead to my right shoulder. I flinched a little but didn't make a move or say something.

"You cute dork, we... we've been together for four years."

* * *

 **Tantrum Zone:** You didn't expect that, did you? I just love how this story seems so much of a fanfiction, yet it's a true story. Ya liked it?

FOLLOW! Don't you wanna know how this ends?

REVIEW! Tell me what you reaction was!

FAVE! Mm... I'd appreciate it!

\- Annie


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